SPITFIRE
PARADE - BIGGLES AT WAR
by Captain W.
E. Johns
IV. TAFFY TRUNDLES IN (Pages 68 – 81)
Biggles is discussing with Toddy, the
Station Adjutant, a new posting. A man
called Hughes. Flight Lieutenant Lord Bertie
Lissie overhears and asks if they are referring to “Taffy Hughes the
Buster?” Biggles says it is “Flying
Officer J. W. Hughes of Aberystwyth” and Bertie confirms “Yes, that’s Taffy the
Buster”. Biggles asks how he got the
nickname. Bertie says that Hughes has “a
curious knack of busting things – not that it’s always his fault”. Bertie tells a story of Taffy Hughes
“busting” four Dornier 17s when they interrupted a rugby game on an aerodrome. Taffy jumped in a Spitfire and went up and
got four of the German bombers. He was
then shot down by a Messerschmitt 109 and borrowed a lorry to get home to
finish the rugby game. Unfortunately the brakes failed and he made a hole in the
officer’s mess. Bertie says that Hughes
also bought a roundabout and bust that when they tried to find out how fast
they could get it to go. Taffy is
currently on his way from his station to his new posting at Biggles’ squadron
in Kent. However, he is not flying in a
direct line and attacks two German Junkers flying about five thousand feet
below him. Taffy shoots down one and the
other dives for home, but Taffy gets that one as well. Later, Taffy gets a Messerschmitt. Taffy then attacks five Heinkel fighters and
sets the rear one on fire but is chased off by the others. Taffy escapes but
the sudden vibration of his engine forces him to land in a convenient field on
his way to his new squadron airfield.
Nearby, some British ‘Tommies’ (soldiers) are standing by a tank. Taffy asks for some water and gets into
conversation with the soldiers. He has a
look inside their tank and sits in the driver’s seat. The corporal showing him the controls is
called outside, leaving Taffy alone in the tank. “Just what he put his foot on he did not
know. He never did know. But there was a
violent explosion, and the machine jerked forward with a jolt that caused him
to strike his head on a metal object behind him. At the same time the trap slammed shut with a
clang”. The tank drives off at speed and
there is nothing that Taffy can do about it.
The tank hits a bank and a hedge but just goes straight over any
obstacles. Soon he is on the aerodrome
heading straight for the sheds. The tank
goes over Bertie Lissie’s Morris car. “Stand clear – I can’t stop” bawled Taffy
through the letter-box like slit that permits the driver a restricted view
ahead. The tank enters an aircraft
hangar and out the other side, narrowly missing a mechanic. The tank ends up in a concrete pit and
stops. Taffy struggles to get out of the
tank and seeing the C.O. (Commanding Officer) says he is reporting for
duty. Biggles says “Your name, I fancy,
is Hughes?” Taffy is surprised and asks
how he guessed. Biggles says “I didn’t
guess” with deadly sarcasm. “I knew”.
Biggles should really have had the greatest sympathy for Taffy
for EXACTLY the same thing happened to him in a 5 page
story – with illustrations – from issue number 336 of “The Modern Boy” (week
ending 14th July 1934) entitled “Biggles and the Runaway Tank”. The story was collected in “Biggles in France”
and published by the Boys’ Friend Library in issue number 501 dated 7th
November 1935. This original story is
effectively in two parts. It starts with
Biggles insulting some Chinese workers who are attempting to build a road at
his aerodrome. Then a message is dropped
for Biggles from a German officer explaining that Biggles has bombed his wine
cellar and he must either pay for the wine or meet the officer in the air for a
duel. Biggles is persuaded it is a trap
and declines to go. The next message he
receives is about some mustard for his “cold feet” and Biggles is so angry that
he goes and shoots the German down, over his own aerodrome. Flying back, Biggles is forced to land in a
field and sees some British soldiers with a captured German tank. Biggles gets in and the tank drives off
causing destruction at his own airfield.
Rather than Bertie’s Morris car being destroyed, it is Mahoney’s Sopwith
Camel. The chaos caused by Biggles is
seen by a visiting General and Biggles ends up being reprimanded. The only good outcome is the tank has
flattened the lumpy road made by the Chinese workers.